Bong Hits

The Bong is the most iconic piece of marijuana smoking gear. Nothing says “stoner” like a big ole glass bong on the coffee table. And with good reason. No other smoking device will stuff the lungs with so much smoke in one “hit”.


I’ve been smoking weed for more than 40 years. During that time the bong has gone through some thoughtful design changes.

The first bong I had the pleasure to know was a massive 4 footer called Blue Max. To use this plastic lungbuster required 2 people: the smoker and the lighter. The “carburetor” hole was nearly an arm’s length from the mouthpiece. When you took your finger off of that hole… BOOM.

These days, the carb hole is gone and nobody smokes out of plastic anymore.

Obviously, glass, specifically: borosilicate glass, is the material of choice. Specially manufactured to be heat and shatter resistant, a good glass bong will last a lifetime. If you don’t drop it, of course. Glass is easiest to clean, adds no taste and there is no fear of plastic leaching into your bong hits.

That carburetor hole, the source of bong water leakage for decades, has been replaced by simply lifting the bowl from the stem. Genius! Oh, and that classic metal bowl found on nearly every bong of the 70s has been replaced with a glass bowl. The fittings on the glass bowl and bowl stem feature a frosted surface that keeps the glass pieces from locking together. Yup, today’s Bongs are more like chemistry lab glassware.

There are four basic Bong types: The Homemade Bong, The Art Bong, The Rube Goldberg Bong and the Laboratory Bong.

The Homemade Bong needs little description yet is the most diverse of the bongs. We have all seen and maybe even smoked from that home crafted device that could be fashioned from a hunk of PVC pipe, a beer can, a watermelon, soda bottles, bamboo… I could go on. Usually featuring duct tape, aluminum foil or some questionable adhesive, inhaling from this bong might not be the most healthy way to inhale. A true Bong needs water to work. With the Homemade Bong, there was always the chance of a bongwater spill. Anyone that has experienced a bongwater incident can back me up when I tell you NOT to spill the bongwater.

The Art Bong is just that… art. These bongs look great on the coffee table. Often sporting fantasy themes like dragons, wizards and such. Sometimes these bongs can be awkward to smoke from (“…put your mouth on the Serpent’s butt, hold your finger on it’s penis and light it’s head… “). If you put a lamp shade on the Art Bong, you can transform that scorned piece of drug paraphernalia into a tasteful source of illumination that smells rude.

The Rube Goldberg Bong references the famous cartoonist from the 40s and 50s. Rube Goldberg drawings depicted crazy, convoluted machines that did otherwise simple tasks.

Head Shops will have multiple shelves of these things for sale. A big seller, the Rube Goldberg Bong dazzles and delights the stoned shopper into an impulse buy. Usually multi-chambered with tubes and coils attached to valves and aerators… its all very complicated but also very cool. Until you try to clean it.

Finally there is the Laboratory Bong. This, in my opinion, is the only bong you’ll need. Those other bongs end up in the closet, the trash or bookshelf, never to be smoked from again. The “Lab Bong” gets the job done efficiently and without additional nonsense.

Typically this bong is a combination of a straight glass tube, a removable bowl stem and a glass bowl. A tool in its purest form, this Bong group is simple to operate, easy to clean and will usually have replaceable parts and upgrades like dab mods and ash catchers. The Laboratory Bong is usually an every day smoker that you’ll probably get very attached to.

Remember, your own Bong choice can define your personality. Just as a pet can sometimes “mirror” their owner, your Bong choice speaks volumes about who you really are.

First Grow – Part 6

My three remaining cannabis plants are one week into the flowering cycle. There has been a significant burst of growth in just 6 days.

That “odd” plant, the only female I sprouted from a seed, was not looking like cannabis up to now. After I changed the light cycle to flower mode (12 hours light / 12 hours dark) and added potassium rich nutrients to the water all three plants visibly changed. The fresh growth on all three plants is densely packed and a more vibrant green. I was relieved to see the new growth on the “oddling” was looking more like a cannabis plant and seems to have the classic Indica leaf shape, color and size.


The flowers have definitely started to form on all three plants. The nutrient change to a Potassium rich formula combined with the 12/12 light/dark cycle has kicked all three cannabis plants into flowering mode as advertised. The fertilizer I’m using was part of a box of nutrients I won at the 420 Celebration Party. As you can see, the Potassium number is pretty high. The three numbers on the fertilizer represent the value of the three macro-nutrients used by plants. These macro-nutrients are nitrogen (N), phosphorus (P) and potassium (K) or NPK for short. I add about a tablespoon nutrient to a gallon of water which lasts about three days of watering.

I must be very careful not to let any light into the box now during the darkness phase. I only open the the doors in the morning when the lights are on in the grow box. I quickly take my photos, check the green babies for pests (so far so good… knocking on wood), give them their water and close up the box another for 24 hours.

little cannabis bush
Cannabis Clone – day 66

…more to come…

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Tokermon Tuesday # 9

This Tokermon Tuesday is gonna make you thirsty. Cottonmouth appears when things start to get dusty. If you see this guy in the pot garden, you best get the water can ‘cuz Cottonmouth is as dry as a popcorn fart.

…see you next Tuesday…

First Grow – part 5

Flowering time is approaching… time to tighten up the box.

Step 1… Add weather stripping to any visible light leaks. Step 2… Duct tape and cover the air intake with fabric for a filter and light mask. Step 3… Install wireless humidity and temperature sensor.

I purchased a unit called SensorPush to monitor the environment inside the grow box. There is no power cord and it appears fairly weatherproof. This device links wirelessly to your phone and works with the free SensorPush app. This tiny piece of tech (about the size of a book of matches) is able to track humidity and temperature and send the data to your phone. (you can see it in the image above) I am loving this useful tool and recommend it to anyone with a grow system. learn more at:

I am very concerned with light burn. I have been raising the LED lights as best I can, but I am reaching the top of the box. I found a low profile power cord on the LED fixture to give me an additional inch. I am also considering cutting a hole the size and shape of the LED box so I can raise it flush to the “ceiling” of the grow box, but I’ll probably wait until the next grow.

Up to now, the only real fertilizer I have been using is a single light handed “shot” of Miracle Grow” a week after I put them in the box and a daily watering with tea colored “swamp water” that flows nearby. Using the stream water probably increases my chances for a pest infestation, but that is potential failure I’m willing to learn from. You’ll remember I added worm casings to an already nutrient rich soil I purchased at the Grow Store when I first transplanted the seedlings into the larger pots. I will switch to a more Potassium rich fertilizer during the flowering stage.

After spending way too much time on-line researching cannabis horticulture, I feel I need to “science the shit” outa my next indoor growing scenario. I will admit to “winging it” through much of this grow process. Up to now, my motivation for this first grow has been the free clones and the recent legalization of cannabis. With the flowering stage starting, the excitement level has definitely inched up a notch.

…more to come…

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Hat and Drugs

My Dad had a saying he used whenever he suspected the wool was being pulled over his eyes: “Never shit a shitter”.

As kids, we always think we’re smarter than our parents. We had this notion that all we did had never been done before. I know I possessed this attitude as a teen. My underdeveloped brain failed to consider the vast experience my Dad acquired while raising my three older brothers was far beyond any DEA training. There wasn’t much I could do that my brothers hadn’t already tried.

DadDad always knew I was high. I would prepare my stoned self for contact with my Dad with the usual routine: Visine…check, Tic Tacs… check… alibi… check. Somehow Dad saw through my deception every time. No matter how many mints I ate, he could still smell that bowl I smoked two hours ago. I was floored that time Dad told me not to smoke joints with seeds in them because it was ruining all my shirts.

Or that time at 3 AM as I was tripping my socks off on mushrooms and laughing uncontrollably in the bathroom while looking at a crude drawing my little brother made. I don’t know how long my Dad was standing there in the doorway but when I eventually turned and saw him, he was actually smiling as he said with a nod “Good stuff, huh?”

One blustery Saturday I was bundling up to face the elements with a plan to meet my friends for a day of adventure. My Dad watched as I added layer after layer of protective gear. I could sense his prying observations as if he was scanning me with an X-Ray looking for contraband. After an uncomfortable silence my Dad offers: “Make sure you’ve got your hat and gloves, you don’t want to get cold when you’re outside getting stoned.”

I stood up to say something that would have certainly earned me a backhanded whack upside the head. I reconsidered, pushed my hat down and pulled my gloves on. For the first time I kept silent. He was right, of course.

From that day forward, anytime my friends and I would suit up for a bong session outside, one of us would have to say; “Don’t forget your hat and drugs.”

First Grow – Part 4

It has been 30 days since I activated the grow box.

The clones were acquired 37 days ago and the seeds were started 69 days ago. The clones and seedlings were somewhat mishandled as we were moving them around too much trying keeping them hidden from the landlord. The apartment may also have been too cold at times. Of the four seeds that we successfully germinated, three were males. All three have been removed from the box and have started new lives in the wild.

The two clones are leafing out quite well with all the typical growth, color and structure that is expected. I am very happy with the results so far.

That remaining seeding was started from a pile of random seeds I found in my desk. The plant is growing quite well but it looks much different than the other two in many ways.

The leaves are very glossy, somewhat “rumpled” and a very deep green. Additionally, the shape of the leaf clusters is not uniform and doesn’t even look like weed. There are many marijuana like flowers, however and it does have a very strong “ganja” smell.

tiny female flower

The plan is to induce flowering in a week or two. Before I can do that, I will need to seal up all “light leaks” in the growbox. Any light that gets into the box as they are being forced to flower will disrupt the process. I plan to buy some weather stripping and duct tape to block any invading light before I start the flowering process.

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Tee Shirt Weather

The weather finally turned the corner up here in New England. We Yankees have the daily wardrobe issue this time of year when the mornings require the jacket but the afternoons turn into a hot humid mess. As the Yankee Stonette likes to say: “It’s as if we didn’t have a Spring.” I will go out on a limb here and assume Tee Shirt weather has finally arrived.

Yup, I like to make tee-shirts from my artwork. I have an endless supply of drawings doing nothing but sitting in a folder. I was a screen printer last century. Back then I would have printed a shirt now and again from these drawings. I only wore shirts I made myself for nearly 2 decades. Alas, I no longer have access to all that screen printing gear so I use an On-Line printing service to get my designs on fabric. It’s much cleaner that way.

I try to add a couple of new designs a month. The “tee shirt designer” function in the Yankee Stoner “store” allows you to create your own products or you can choose some I’ve already made available. The images are digitally printed on the fabric. I purchased a few shirts and washed the shit outa them and the images still look great.

Check back now and then to see new designs, I’m always drawing something. Got an idea you’d like me to draw? Let me know!

You can browse the Yankee Stoner collection in our Yankee Stoner Web Store.