The Original Grass Laws

To understand a true stoner, you need to understand the Grass Laws. The Grass Laws are the product of wasted philosophers, high engineers and stoned mathematicians attempting to decipher the marijuana phenomenon. More observation than research, most stoners can appreciate the laws as they offer a simplified explanation their pothead behaviors. It is important to consider these laws were created when weed was not only illegal but sometimes very hard to find. The times they are a changin’.

grass_laws

The Grass Laws

1. Have weed, will smoke.

If you are a “daily” smoker, a real pothead, then this statement makes sense to you. Lets call it what it really is; an addiction or at the very least, a habit. So, like any other addict with a “monkey on their back”, you need to smoke. There is no “I’ll save it for later”. If you have any weed you will smoke it.

2. The amount of weed smoked is directly proportional to the amount of weed possessed.

When you have a big fat sack of weed, you roll big fat joints or fill the bowl that extra time. As the bag gets smaller, so too will your consumption rate. Remember, this law was developed when weed was very illegal so procurement was not always guaranteed. Soon, running out will only mean having to run to the store, effectively reducing this law’s relevance.

3. Weed will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no weed.

Weed’s most common effect is making everything “better”. Money can have that effect as well when you’re buying more weed ! Back in the day, there were often weed “droughts” when getting a bag of pot was nearly impossible, sometimes for weeks. When there is no weed to buy, there’s gonna be no high, no matter how much cash is in your pocket.  The origin of this law is from the comic book series “The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers“, an iconic underground comic strip from the 60s and 70s.

4. A friend with weed is a friend indeed.

Marijuana is made to share. You pass the joint to a friend. A friend passes a joint to you. A friend, indeed.

 

First Grow – Dry and Cure

All of the cannabis plants have been dried. I placed the trimmed buds upside down from plastic hangers, spacing them apart so none of the flowers tops are touching. I then hung the cannabis laden hangers in the closet.

I have a dehydrator that I turned on inside the closet. My thought was this empty dehydrator could dry out the humid air in the closet without raising the temperature too high. It did dry the flowers quicker than I expected, about three days. I trimmed the buds a bit more, removing the stems and any residual leaves and placed them in sealed mason jars.

big jar of weedThe weed still smelled “green”, lacking that fruity, skunk like smell I was hoping for. This is where the curing process will improve my buds. Inside the sealed jars, the weed develops the terpenes as it slowly homogenizes the moisture left in the flowers. There’s cannabinoid acids that need to decarboxylate into the psychoactive cannabinoids and terpenes that need to isomerize to create new poly-terpenes that create tastes and aromas that are much different from fresh flowers.

I need to inspect the jars daily, releasing any excess moisture by leaving the jar open for a while. There is a danger of mold growth, the surest way to ruin newly harvested cannabis. Drying the buds too much is bad as well, locking in that “green” taste and preventing the psychoactive ingredients from “ripening”. With any luck, this process will take about a week.

Meanwhile, I’m staring at all these jars of cannabis buds that I can’t smoke yet.

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Tokermon Tuesday # 16

Tuesday is here. A new Tokermon for you… meet Waxxer. A sticky wad of gooey lumpiness, Waxxer can be found clinging to your farming tools and gear. Scrape this one off before you find yourself all stuck up.

You can see all the Tokermon so far by clicking RIGHT HERE
…see you next Tuesday…

Weed Up Close

Cannabis flowers viewed with a microscope look amazing. The trichomes appear as if they are part of an alien landscape. I used a cheap handheld microscope called the zOrb MM-480 digital microscope to explore the flowers of my first crop of cannabis.

Here’s a short video featuring a microscopic journey into one of my cannabis flowers.

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First Grow – Trimming

I brought the first Grow Box raised Cannabis plant upstairs for processing.

It has been just about four months in the grow box and an additional 63 days from seed to “window sill veg” stage. That’s is a total of 185 days of anticipation. I nervously gripped a thick stem of my green baby with the clippers and squeezed. I linger… a moment of doubt… too early? The heck with it, gotta start somewhere… Snip. The harvest has begun.

I commenced trimming using the sharpest scissors I could find. I had a pointy tipped pair in the “junk drawer”. It would have to do.

After snipping off branches using the clipppers, I trimmed each branch of the larger fan leaves first. I found trimming the branches from below, holding them upside-down, was the easiest way to choose and snip the leaves close to the flower.

Since this was a rather small plant, I trimmed it up in no time at all. I carefully placed the trimmed flowers on plastic coat hangers and put them in the closet with the “dehumidifier”. Clearly that dehumidifier unit in there now won’t be enough as the weather around here is nearly 100% humidity!

The yield on this plant was not very impressive. It is important to note a number of things when considering final quantity harvested.

  • This plant is grown from a random seed on my desk.
  • This plant had a stressed childhood. As a seedling, there was poor light and often “confusing” light cycles because the seedling had to hide in a closet when the landlord was near.
  • The temperature in the apartment was often too cool.
  • The plant was less than 20 inches tall at the time of harvest as a result of growing in a small grow box.

Two more cannabis plants await their fate. These are the two plants I grew from clones. They are fuller, taller and healthier than the one I just harvested (random seed plant). I feel they still need to “ripen” another day or two.

Two days later I cut down the two remaining grown clones and commenced trimming the plants in preparation for drying and curing.

…stay tuned as we trim and cure our First Grow…

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Tokermon Tuesday # 15

Tuesday is back. Here’s your Tokermon for this week… Introducing Clipper. This Tokermon has a grip on your roaches. Clipper hovers about when a joint is burning and is often seen picking through ashtrays.

…see you next Tuesday…

First Grow – Pre Harvest

Here’s a last look at my first home grown Cannabis Plants before I cut them down for harvest.

The trichomes covering the flowers sparkle in the light like sugar crystals. The pistils, those tiny hairs all over the flower, are beginning to turn brown and curl a bit.

It has been a real treat watching my Cannabis mature. The plants are so beautiful I really hate to kill them.

I made a little video as a keepsake of my very first cannabis growing adventure. Take a look:

I’ll let them ripen one more day before I cut them as I need to prepare the drying area. Since it has been extremely humid, I will need to dehumidify the closet I’ll be hanging the buds in.

…come on back and watch us dry…

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Tokermon Tuesday # 14

It’s Tuesday again. This week we meet the high-tech Tokermon of tomorrow… introducing Vapester. You’ll see this Tokermon sidling up to the electronics in your grow room.

…see you next Tuesday…

First Grow – part 10

Welcome to Cannabis Trichome City…

This post is pretty much a celebration of the Cannabis Trichome. Very cool to examine closely, I just wish I had better pictures. As I stated last post, I’m looking for these transparent stalks and the bulbous heads to attain a milky color. I’m seeing a few milkies already, so I’m a bit anxious.

The trichomes are especially interesting to look at with a powerful magnifying glass. I will seek out even better ways to photograph these awesome looking trichomes. By the look of it, I better hurry…

I think harvest may be less about week away so I’m starting the plants on a diet of plain ole fresh spring water. The pure water will ensure the plants do not impart any flavors from fertilizers and the stream water. I’m just going to use spring water from the super market for several days and then its time to bring this project to the next stage, drying and curing.

…come watch us grow…

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Tokermon Tuesday # 13

Tuesday has arrived and so has a brand new Tokermon. Here’s Glom, a sticky, drooling mass of glistening ewwwwww. Glom hangs around when you’re overwatering, schurping up all that extra damp.

You can see all the Tokermon so far by clicking RIGHT HERE
…see you next Tuesday…