Hat and Drugs

My Dad had a saying he used whenever he suspected the wool was being pulled over his eyes: “Never shit a shitter”.

As kids, we always think we’re smarter than our parents. We had this notion that all we did had never been done before. I know I possessed this attitude as a teen. My underdeveloped brain failed to consider the vast experience my Dad acquired while raising my three older brothers was far beyond any DEA training. There wasn’t much I could do that my brothers hadn’t already tried.

DadDad always knew I was high. I would prepare my stoned self for contact with my Dad with the usual routine: Visine…check, Tic Tacs… check… alibi… check. Somehow Dad saw through my deception every time. No matter how many mints I ate, he could still smell that bowl I smoked two hours ago. I was floored that time Dad told me not to smoke joints with seeds in them because it was ruining all my shirts.

Or that time at 3 AM as I was tripping my socks off on mushrooms and laughing uncontrollably in the bathroom while looking at a crude drawing my little brother made. I don’t know how long my Dad was standing there in the doorway but when I eventually turned and saw him, he was actually smiling as he said with a nod “Good stuff, huh?”

One blustery Saturday I was bundling up to face the elements with a plan to meet my friends for a day of adventure. My Dad watched as I added layer after layer of protective gear. I could sense his prying observations as if he was scanning me with an X-Ray looking for contraband. After an uncomfortable silence my Dad offers: “Make sure you’ve got your hat and gloves, you don’t want to get cold when you’re outside getting stoned.”

I stood up to say something that would have certainly earned me a backhanded whack upside the head. I reconsidered, pushed my hat down and pulled my gloves on. For the first time I kept silent. He was right, of course.

From that day forward, anytime my friends and I would suit up for a bong session outside, one of us would have to say; “Don’t forget your hat and drugs.”

Tokermon Tuesday # 8

Things are heating up in the pot patch on this Tokermon Tuesday. This week we introduce Hookah. Hookah is another burner you’ll find smoldering among the flowers.

…see you next Tuesday…

First Grow – Part 4

It has been 30 days since I activated the grow box.

The clones were acquired 37 days ago and the seeds were started 69 days ago. The clones and seedlings were somewhat mishandled as we were moving them around too much trying keeping them hidden from the landlord. The apartment may also have been too cold at times. Of the four seeds that we successfully germinated, three were males. All three have been removed from the box and have started new lives in the wild.

The two clones are leafing out quite well with all the typical growth, color and structure that is expected. I am very happy with the results so far.

That remaining seeding was started from a pile of random seeds I found in my desk. The plant is growing quite well but it looks much different than the other two in many ways.

The leaves are very glossy, somewhat “rumpled” and a very deep green. Additionally, the shape of the leaf clusters is not uniform and doesn’t even look like weed. There are many marijuana like flowers, however and it does have a very strong “ganja” smell.

tiny female flower

The plan is to induce flowering in a week or two. Before I can do that, I will need to seal up all “light leaks” in the growbox. Any light that gets into the box as they are being forced to flower will disrupt the process. I plan to buy some weather stripping and duct tape to block any invading light before I start the flowering process.

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Tee Shirt Weather

The weather finally turned the corner up here in New England. We Yankees have the daily wardrobe issue this time of year when the mornings require the jacket but the afternoons turn into a hot humid mess. As the Yankee Stonette likes to say: “It’s as if we didn’t have a Spring.” I will go out on a limb here and assume Tee Shirt weather has finally arrived.

Yup, I like to make tee-shirts from my artwork. I have an endless supply of drawings doing nothing but sitting in a folder. I was a screen printer last century. Back then I would have printed a shirt now and again from these drawings. I only wore shirts I made myself for nearly 2 decades. Alas, I no longer have access to all that screen printing gear so I use an On-Line printing service to get my designs on fabric. It’s much cleaner that way.

I try to add a couple of new designs a month. The “tee shirt designer” function in the Yankee Stoner “store” allows you to create your own products or you can choose some I’ve already made available. The images are digitally printed on the fabric. I purchased a few shirts and washed the shit outa them and the images still look great.

Check back now and then to see new designs, I’m always drawing something. Got an idea you’d like me to draw? Let me know!

You can browse the Yankee Stoner collection in our Yankee Stoner Web Store.

First Grow – Part 3

Its been about a month in the grow box and things are definitely growing. All the plants are leafing out very nicely, however, upon closer inspection, I noticed some flowers on two of the plants. I whipped out my magnifying glass and examined them very closely.

Yup, it appears that these two plants are males.

Upon discovering the two male plants, I pulled them out of the box and transplanted them outside. We do not want any unauthorized pollination going on in the grow box. As you probably know, if you want seedless flowers, you’ve got to keep the male plants away and take steps to ensure no pollen gets on your stigma.

The remaining four plants are healthy and seem to be females. On two of the remaining plants I can see clear evidence of tiny female flower parts.

Meanwhile, a pair of male plants are enjoying their new life outside in the wild.

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My Years With Proto Pipe

Always a marijuana smoker and a gadget fan, I was instantly attracted to the Proto Pipe. The ultimate pot smokers’ pocket “tool”, the Proto Pipe represents the perfect marriage of functionality and design.

protopipe_adI first saw the “ad” for the Proto Pipe┬áin Dr Atomic’s Pipe and Dope Book, an underground comic by Larry Todd, creator of “Dr Atomic”. I knew I had to have one of my own. I got a postal money order, sent it off to Willits, CA and anxiously waited for my Proto.

When the package finally arrived, I was sent a notice to pick it up at the Post Office. Uh Oh. The “Feds” knew there was a marijuana pipe in the box. I was freaking out.

Keep in mind this was 1977. Drug paraphernalia was as illegal as the drugs themselves. I was stressing out over picking up the package. I gathered up all my courage and went in.

As it turned out, there was a COD charge (I could’ve figured that out if I read the pick up notice.) Apparently the Protopipe price had increased since the 1975 release date of the comic book ad. I paid the extra three bucks and grabbed my treasure.

The Proto Pipe was even better than I imagined. I was so elated with my purchase, I immediately bought a dozen more. The Proto Pipe company set up their own distribution system by giving deep discounts on multiple purchases. I received my dozen and sold them out in a day. I sold so many Proto Pipes that year, it seemed everybody had one. I was also the source for spare parts as most stoners lost the poker within a week.

I had 2 Proto Pipes for nearly 40 years, using one almost daily and the other put away as a spare. In 2014, I had one taken from me after a friend went through a stop sign without stopping. The police pulled us over, my friend was arrested for an outstanding warrant and I lost my beloved Protopipe. I also received a $100 fine for possession. One of the police officers was training another. He picked up the Proto and described it to the younger officer as a “one hitter”. I scoffed inwardly. My Proto Pipe was nearly twice the age of that policeman. It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut and not correct the officer.

Today, a genuine Proto Pipe can only be found on eBay or other “collector” sites. You will pay well over $100 for an original. There are a couple of copies out there but nothing will replace the Proto Pipe manufactured in Willits, California.

First Grow – Part 2

Shortly after setting the plants in, I went back to the grow store and purchased 6 square pots, soil and earthworm casings. I could have saved a few bucks and gone to the big box garden store but I wanted to throw my cash at this store to support this new and growing industry. Additionally, I find the staff really know about growing cannabis and were quick to answer my many newbie questions. I didn’t go overboard on the nutrients for my first grow. I felt the soil mix I put together would get them through at the start.

Four of these plants were started from “random” seeds I had lying around. The other two are clones I received at the 420 celebration in Natick. I failed to take care of the seedlings at the very start by constantly moving and hiding them, completely messing up their “light cycle”. In fact, 3 of the plants started to bud out. I nipped the buds off and hoped for the best.

At first I don’t believe I watered the little ones enough. I was so certain that I would drown the seedlings that I was way too stingy with the water. Then I picked up the pots and realized just how light they were and I then started to soak them good. It seemed to pay off as growth accelerated in only 2 days.

There’s a lot to be said about reading instructions… I figured out I had set the lighting incorrectly. For nearly a week the LED lights were on 24 hours a day. Not what I wanted. I was going for 18 – 6 for the light/dark phases. I fixed my error and it seems the plants are back on track.

I’ve enjoyed the growing experience so far. I’ve got so much to learn and a long way to go, but I’m hooked now. I just hope I can see this through successfully as there are so many challenges ahead: pests, fertilizer, flowering, harvesting, curing… I will keep these post going so that you may follow my progress… I am open to suggestions, questions and encouragement!

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Tokermon Tuesday # 5

Tuesday is here. And here is your Tokermon…

This Tokermon hides in plain site. Skitter can be found casually lying on the floor just about anywhere marijuana would be inhaled.